Red Shoes and Reservations…

I am a born performer. As a child, as soon as I could stand, I would dance. As soon as I could talk, I sang... I loved to perform in the living room on the fireplace hearth because well… It was a stage of course! Despite my love for dance, as a child I never took any lessons. My mother didn’t see it as something worth investing in. As a youth, I joined musical theater. That was a great outlet where I excelled and that I absolutely loved. But then as my life changed, dancing and singing fell away. The music and expression of my soul went dormant.

Since I’ve been on my self-rediscovery journey, my passion for music and dance has returned full force. It was one of the ways that I knew I had awakened. My Soul Song returned! Anyway, I had always wanted to learn to dance Latin dances. It always seemed so romantic and just plain FUN! I tested the waters with some local events, but it’s really been in the last couple of months where I have felt a call to buckle down, get out of living in the fantasy of being a great dancer, and actually LEARN. I’ve got some (read: a little) muscle memory in the Bachata, and I’m decently comfortable with the flow of Zouk… But that Salsa… It is still my weakness. And here’s the hard part. What is the only way to improve? DOING IT.

This Saturday there is a Salsa night. There is a war within me. There is the part that likes validation. She likes feeling confident and capable, and to be seen as such. She does NOT want to go and feel the agony of being a beginner. Then there is the side of me that KNOWS discomfort is necessary to grow. If I want this, I have to step into the zone of INVALIDATION. In other words, I won’t be perfect – I might not even be good, depending on whom I’m dancing with – but I have to find the strength to do it anyway if I’m serious about achieving my dream.

There’s another catch. I bought myself real dance shoes. Red ones because… Um, hello they are pretty. And a matching red dress that twirls of course. I realized that by looks alone, it would seem like I know what I’m doing. There is a taste of imposter syndrome hanging bitterly in my mouth. But I’m serious about this. I’m dead serious that I want to be an AMAZING Salsa dancer… Someday. So I committed to investing in the tools (OK the dress was for fun) to help me BECOME a better dancer. Having the right shoes does make a difference.

There are three concepts here. Wanting validation, standing strong amidst invalidation, and investing in tools. Being able to understand how these concepts work in your life is critical to having the outcomes that you want.

When needing validation to feel worthy, or acting to avoid invalidation, you are not in the driver’s seat. So how can you go in the direction that you really want to go?

Investing in yourself and gaining skills and tools will help you no matter what part of the self-discovery path you find yourself on.

For more information about how coaching can help you understand and master these concepts, schedule a chat now!

All My Love,

Reh