The Broken Spider
I’d like to say it was a dark and stormy night, since there is a creepy element to this story, BUT really it was a bright and shiny morning somewhere during my two and a half year Cocoon Time. I sat cross legged on the floor, on my yoga mat, in my mediation area. I was going through my morning routine as usual. My daily practices intended to help me listening to my intuition and help give my subconsciousness a voice to teach me.
I placed my journal on my lap and began to free write. As I wrote, I saw something immerge from the corner of my eye. I froze. I large, thick legged, gray spider was walking slowly on the floor straight for me. My immediate well practiced reaction was to grab a tissue to squish this critter before it could do anything crazy like…. I don’t know… Yucky spider things.
But as I looked down, it stopped inches from my leg. I had previously been taught by my higher understanding while in awe and wonder, about how all of us are connected, even the smallest creature… So after calming my instinctual urge to scream, kill, and over-all freak out, I looked more closely. I was so close, and it was so large, I could see its eyes and the patterns on its body. I didn’t move. It didn’t move. We were both frozen. It seemed to be looking at me. I was definitely looking at it!
I then felt an emotion come over me. I felt tired, worn thin. Can spiders feel tired? Was she telling me she was tired? I can’t say for sure. But it was then that I noticed this spider was not just any spider. She was a warrior spider. She had lost two legs on one side of her body, and one leg on the other side. How could I kill such a majestic warrior? I couldn’t. I yelled to my daughter to bring me cup. I scooped the warrior spider into the cup, put the tissues over the top, and brought her outside.
When my spider saving actions were complete, I sat back down with my journal. Immediately I wrote:
“Before you react, stop and look a little closer. You might be surprised at what you find.”
How often do we act on instinct? How often do we lash out at loved ones because our own impulse is to project the pain/panic/wounding OUTWARD before it can land IN and hurt us? This instinctual brain often takes action before we have time to really think about the situation.
Interestingly enough spiders in the word of creature symbolism, represent patience and self-governance. These are traits that need: awareness, practice, and support. We can all take steps in increase our patience and self-governance. Maybe not to protect a wounded spider, but definitely to protect a loved one from being wounded by our actions.
All My Love,
REH