The HOW of the Law of Attraction
For the last couple of years I’ve been dabbling in the teachings of the Law of Attraction, also called The Secret, or Manifesting. When I first began listing to these teachers, I was annoyed at the constant interruption and the never-really-getting-the-answer circular teachings that I was listening to. But one very long drive, I decided to listen to a particular playlist of discussions on the topic. I was finally ready for this concept to LAND differently in my awareness, and it has. Let me share with you what I’ve learned about the ups, downs, and the HOW of the Law of Attraction.
During my “Cocoon Time,” when I was separated from most of the world and my regular life for two and a half years, my only purpose was healing, learning, and growing. Any time I tried to do anything else, it got derailed. It was a time where I went back to start to figure out where I got off course, and how to get into alignment with my Higher Self.
One of the early experiences I had with Enlightenment after my initial Kundalini a year earlier (it comes piece by piece in case you’re wondering), I was laying on the floor of my living room in April 2020. I was face down on my yoga mat, cheek smooshed into a puddle of tears, deflated. Utterly lost in not knowing myself, my purpose, and deep in the pain of years of self-abandonment, loneliness, and loss. I gazed through the glass backdoor at the rod iron patio furniture where my mother used to sit. A set like that existed at every house I had ever known with my mother. Then a bright red cardinal landed on the back of the chair. Suddenly I became aware of the song of the birds coming in through the windows.
I was reminded of the scripture verse Mathew 6:26,
“Look at the birds in the air. They do not sew or reap or store away in barns. God feeds them. Are you not better than they?”
That verse had always rubbed me the wrong way. I mean birds don’t have bills or student loan debt… But here, face down on the yoga mat, I understood.
The High Self said to me in essence: The birds sing joyfully not because they have everything all figured out… Birds sing because it is what they were born to do…
This is when I began to see life a little differently… again (like I said, the path of Enlightenment is not a final arrival point). I began to feel deeper a sense of trust, awe, and wonder. The trees were so green. The sky was so blue. The flowers were so lovely. All animals and critters were so amazing (yes even the spiders). Walks became my heavenly communion, whether in my neighborhood or through the woods. I began really feeling into the peace, love, safety, and gratitude that I was supported, that everything was coming to me even though I didn’t know how or what or who or anything really. I didn’t have to EARN it… This feeling was mine because I AM THAT I AM. We ARE the birds…
I felt IMPASSIONED about LIVING.
Latter, I learned about the Law of Attraction from several teachers and instantly understood what they meant when they referred to sitting in the vibration of Goodness, Abundance, Love, and Gratitude. That was what I was striving to experience every day. However, there was a battle between what I held in my heart and mind as possible having experienced it frequently (raising the vibration/feeling that you have what you desire/getting into the emotion of having what you desire)… AND the reality of where I was.
This high vibration is a great place to be in when you can feel into being hopeful, inspired, and supported. But… We’re human having a human experience. Which means sometimes life just SUCKS. Sometimes the anxiety or the bills or the exhaustion or the monotony - the reality of today is so heavy, so strong, it overrides the higher vibration.
I’m creative enough to be a dreamer… and enough of a realist to be a skeptic.
This makes my relationship with manifesting a bit complicated.
In these hard reality times, the skepticism would creep in like a bitter child. Like –
“Easy for these people to say. They have more money than they know what to do with. They’ve made a living telling people to be hopeful, live in the now, just relax and receive, etc.” My attitude punctuated by an eye roll. “But where’s MY opportunity? Where is my abundance that I believe so deeply is possible? They say it will flow to me but I see no proof of it.”
In fairness, I had significant instability at the time. Pretty much my whole life was up in the air, so staying in the place of feeling Impassioned was especially difficult, especially rubbed up against my Ego wanting to “Figure it out.” When you are too aware of where you LACK, it can be difficult to be in gratitude for where you ARE. We’re only human after all.
And PS – that genuine feeling can’t be forced, only created.
After leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I had some spiritual PTSD, incase that’s not obvious. My faith and trust had been abused. My fear of being “duped,” sitting on my mediation pod fantasizing about my dream life, while missing opportunities to act (like go back to get my Masters even though I didn’t FEEL like that was the right things for me) terrified me. I mean,
WHAT IS INSPIRED ACTION??? How do I know?
Here’s the truth of it. Even the gurus that teach on the Law of Attraction like Abraham and Ester Hicks, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer to name a few – use click bait. Just run those names on YoutYube and you will find titles that draw you in. Titles that promise to answer all your questions… And then when you listen… It all boils down to feeling what you want is true in your present moment (satisfaction with where you are). Which again triggers my Spiritual PSTD.
AND…
They are not wrong.
Here is what I’ve discovered on my journey. It both IS and IS NOT that easy. What you want WILL come to you as you place yourself in alignment with it. But alignment is more than feelings – it’s also work. The gurus might say – “Yes! Inspired action! When you’re in the flow, you can’t help but ACT.”
I would disagree.
Why? Too many of us still want it to be comfortable. Too many of us want what we want without really leaning into what that means. I am NOT talking about the social concept of pulling yourself up by your boot straps. I’m talking about the work it takes to grow intentionally and internally.
Because to really be in alignment, we must deeply know our worth AND where we hold ourselves back.
To grow the knowing of our worth, we must get uncomfortable. We have to step into the things that scare us most. Possible rejection, failure, making the “wrong” choice, losing something we’re comfortable with, apologizing, forgiving, not playing the victim or martyr, taking responsibility for where we are NOW and stop blaming others. This is not what people want to hear because changing and growing and knowing our self-worth is the HARDEST work we can do and it takes TIME. Plus, it’s not that bad things stop happening to you. How you react to negative life events changes. Your meaning making around challenges changes.
You CHANGE.
If you want just one real-life example, read my article hear over healing my relationship with money (which is ongoing… Remember healing and manifestation are spelled T-I-M-E).
Here are some self-reflection questions to ask yourself that will help you get clarity around the HOW…
Three questions to ask yourself to unlock
The How of Law of Attraction:
What are you most afraid of?
o This is one of the most powerful ways to find your HOW. It’s because the Ego gets in the way of our Higher Self. The Ego is ALL about self-preservation and NOT taking chances unless we are sure we’ll be successful. It could be as simple as, if I change, my friends or family might reject me. Or setting boundaries has brough emotional repercussions in the past, so speaking up might feel dangerous. It can be as tangible as – I have bills to pay. It can be as mind-blowing as – if my dreams don’t come true, then am I a failure?
2. Are there changes or chances I could make or take that feel uncomfortable?
o This could be something like attending a job fair, saying no to a toxic boss, telling your partner when they’ve hurt your feelings, stop letting someone take advantage of you, even admitting that you aren’t as happy as you pretend to be (I see this A LOT). Being radically honest with yourself is the first step in inviting in inspired action.
3. What isn’t working for you that you keep putting energy into?
o What is wearing you down? This can be tricky because the answer can still be things or people that we love – like our children or an elderly parent. Even the activities we LOVE can become burdensome. Look at HOW you are approaching it. Maybe you can let go of some expectations that end up draining you instead feeling fulfilling
If these questions feel hard to answer, I encourage you to sit, take some deep breaths, quiet your mind, and see what comes up. Or try your journal. Or find someone to talk to about it until it comes up. What is it that you don’t want to face? Where are you blaming others?
This work can sometimes be called Shadow work and it is really challenging. Our Ego tries so hard to keep us safe and stagnant, but doesn’t really care about our happiness or life satisfaction. Doing this work can turn who we think we are up-side-down. If you need support through this process, reach out to me or to a professional coach, counselor, or spiritual mentor that you trust.
The work of growing closer to living in a feeling of being impassioned about life every day takes time, conscious effort, and practice.
But you can have it. You are the bird. You were born to sing.
PS – if you haven’t watched the Disney movie Soul – you need to.
All My Love